The subject of this blog was prompted by a statement made by Glenys the other day. This scenario has apparently happened often, particularly over recent years: it’s my negativity as a first response to hearing something, rather than considering a more optimistic stance about something or someone.
This time Glenys responded to my reaction with, “Why can’t we just have a conversation about something and discuss any concerns without your immediate negative reactions.”
These responses may be words combined with a look of frustration, or as she described in this case, combined with “a sniggering laugh”. And in this case, after reading the article that she had shared, and after her above mentioned comment, I said, “that’s actually well written and a good perspective.” But it was sort of too late. The issue was out there.
Furthermore, Glenys also reminded that I was not always a negative person.
I have pondered these comments and come up with the conclusion that Glenys is right in her assessment of my general attitude towards many things nowadays.
I reflected on the chronology of my negative disposition and ascertained that it’s origin stems from a number of events that have occurred in recent years. These events incapsulate the period of non-diagnosis, then my diagnosis of Dementia, and now post- diagnosis.
I don’t want to blame Dementia for the way that I tend to view things, however, it is difficult to reconcile a state of optimism with a terminal, degenerative condition which travels under the name of Dementia.
In my previous blog I made reference to the insidious nature of Dementia. But certain things are omnipresent. They are always there despite my best intentions to live as well as I can. Also, my living as well as I can is reliant on support, in this case support from Glenys, therefore I guess it’s in both of our interests for both of us to try to lessen frustration and negativity. So I wonder too if it’s just a habit that has developed; or that my personality is changing; or, that it’s a part of the information processing that I have difficulty with. Glenys says that she only mentions something on the days that it occurs many times, or when she’s tireder. Either way I suppose her tolerance is lower.
Sometimes being surrounded by positive people and their positive attitude to life is just not enough.
My subconscious thoughts and the impact they can have on the way you view life is summarised with my ‘A’ for Attitude, in my N.A.M.E.S. As a person living with dementia this is one of the lifestyle choices that I find the most difficult.
These days ‘my glass could be described as half-empty’. Maybe when I’m tired or not functioning as well, that letter ‘A’ for attitude is what I have to concentrate on.
Sent from my iPhone